On my way to the therapist’s yesterday, I found myself trailing behind an odorous dump truck. Plodding along on the one-lane street, my eyes rested on a sign for Toronto’s oldest used book store, with 40 – 60% off all books! After a mental note was made to return, I took in some nearby landmarks to guide me.
Wonderfully, on the way back I indeed staved off my laziness and decided to go peruse for a bit. Packed to the ceiling in narrow rows were more books than i could take in. A book called Simple Abundance crossed by path and I opened it.
March 18 – Awakening Sleeping Beauty
“We are the hero of our own story.” – Mary McCarthy
In every one of us there lies a sleeping beauty waiting to be awakened through love. Because she has slumbered for so long, she must be awakened very gently. But instead of waiting for Prince Charming to storm the palace gates, you must summon the magic powers of your authentic self to break any cruel enchantment that has left you unaware of your own glory.
I love the beauty of the images the above passage evokes. Being a fan of Anne Roquelaure’s Sleeping Beauty book, I can easily envision the peace of the castle grounds while all beings were under the magical spell. Happy to say, I’ve “grown” out of the whole Disney-wait-for-prince-charming-to-save-me thing. Which is why I love that we need to wake ourselves up. From past programming, from cultural narratives, from social norms.
I fancy Rumi’s quotation on this:
“Everything in the Universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.”
Everything is within us, truly. All our approval, disapproval, self-love, self-sabatoge… other people merely reflect to us our deepest wounds. If we can see this for what it is, we can proactively take steps to mend ourselves and heal, rather than continue to spew poison outwards, mistaking the enemy from without.
It’s a hard lesson to swallow. It’s much easier to blame others for our pain. Oftentimes I deny this truth. It’s not me – it’s the other person. And then I reflect on what bothers me and what goes unnoticed, and there’s a clear pattern – the things that annoy/irritate/hurt me are all things that I myself see as true. This is the real challenge. The truth is that I do not approve of myself, and that is the real issue.
In more concrete terms, I’ve been seriously contemplating pursing my passions, which include spirituality, spiritual healing, mysticism and consciousness. Because they still seem “woo-woo”, taboo, it is unclear what I can do with this in the future. Some external messages that come in undoubtedly concern the practicality of these studies, and how they will pay off in the future. Having said that, I see much pain in the world that calls for healing, and I’d love to be part of that. I’d love to use my skills to contribute… something… I see and feel the power of energy healing and know that this can give me tangible skills to share, to help, to heal.
I’ve never been a huge risk-taker, imho. My parents would probably view me differently, given our varied perceptions on “risk”, lol. They probably think i’m reckless and impulsive and follow my heart with no consideration of the repercussions. Having said that, these opinions would not matter to me (as much) if I had not the same perspective… Things sting only when we internally agree with them. Hence –> Mirrors!
In conclusion (I can’t remember the last time I wrote that outside of a high school paper), all we seek is inside ourselves. We can love ourselves enough that we care more about our own approval, and our own internal compass, than we do about others’ view of us. We can also compassionately understand that others want the best for us, but are working within their own “book of law”, as Don Miguel Ruiz would say. It is the only book they understand!
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.” – Joseph Campbell