Being someone’s shadow..

Never thought I’d enjoy, not to mention want, to be someone’s shadow.  A lawyer has given me the opportunity to be his shadow, so now once a week I follow him to court and mind whatever business he involves himself in.  It’s a great change from having my nose stuck in a book or my ds all week long. 

Went to court for the first time last week.. well, not for the first time.  but we’ll pretend the previous times never happened.  and it was a very weird experience.. it wasn’t packed, but there was a fair number of people standing on both sides of the hallways.. waiting outside the many courtrooms for the judge to determine their future.. sometimes, actually – more often than not, you could tell with just a glance which was the client and which was the lawyer.  and i’m not saying that in a judgmental way.  just kind of.. matter-of-factly.. and i thought that, having never been charged with anything except petty driving offences, i might catch myself feeling slightly morally superior.. to be able to distance myself from the accused persons.. felons, i’ll call them, cuz i like that word, and because i think a lot of people automatically jump to that conclusion when they hear that someone has just been charged for something.  Innocent until proven guilty is a good theory, but somewhat idealistic.  anyway. this really weird feeling dawned on me when i was there.  i felt like i was in purgatory for some reason – my flaws, as well as the rest of humanity’s flaws, seemed to be highlighted in that courtroom, and i actually felt bad for the people there.  not in a condescending “oh, poor you.. sucks to be you..” type of pity.. but i felt that we’re all responsible for ourselves, and we’ve all sinned.. some in more extensive ways than others, but sinners all the same.  and.. i felt bad because i felt that i had been let off easy.. i’m in no way better than them, yet they were being tried for their crimes and i wasn’t.  and it almost seemed unfair.  it was a very humbling experience.  but i enjoyed it.  i felt a connectedness to them, like i was sharing in their experience.. someone summed it up very succinctly.. my view twds goodness and our innate nature.. “every person carries genes that enable them to be evil but the good genes are dominant. It’s how your environment shapes you.”  the focus not being on genes, but that we are all capable of evil.. and sometimes the choices we make, whether good or bad, don’t merit or fault us in any way really.. they just reflect our circumstances.  we are no better or worse than the next person.

aside from all that work and school related stuff, i had an amazing month and a bit really cheering on the leafs.  unfortunately, to no avail.  i’m glad i’m young though.  i swear, yesterday and saturday’s would’ve given me a heart attack or two if i was past the age of retirement..  good times good times.  GO LEAFS GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  until next year! 

Reading The Measure of Man by Sidney Poitier right now.. it’s not half as good as i expected.  Maybe i have too high an expectation for Oprah’s books.. or maybe i should finish the book before i condemn it to the bottom of my bookshelf.. finally read A Fine Balance tho.. that was amazing.  so good.  i heart Oprah.  ah, how mercurial us females are.   i wonder why Tuesday’s with Morrie hasn’t made it onto the list..

k, enough blabbing for now.. but i shall return soon for another session.  i have too long forgotten the joys of blogging.

3 thoughts on “Being someone’s shadow..

  1. Ahh, to sit in court. I’ve done it a few times. Thankfully never for something I did. I once read a piece buy a lawyer in which he talked about preferring to defend guilty people because there was less at stake. The innocent ones really made him sweat. I would agree for the most part about your stance on human nature. However, I believe that there are some people born with out a moral compass and lacking in basic empathy with their fellow man. I’m sure that Tuesdays With Morrie has be on Opera’s list, after all she was the one that had the movie made.I’ve enjoyed reading you’re blog so I hope you continue:)


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