The seeds of frustration…

As understandable as it is, I can’t stand it when people expect you to live up to some culturally-valued standard of womanhood.  Very abstract comment, doesn’t really make sense.  For some reason or another, I feel very sensitive to You-Should-Be vibes… probably because they were deeply engrained in my head by my mom who constantly preached the idea of being a “sook lui” (what is that in english? a pure woman? a proper woman?)  Then my ex started hammering these ideas into my head about “how a lady should be”.  I still remember how he freaked out at me because I used my teaspoon to drink tea (“It’s for stirring, not to drink as soup!”)  My goodness…

How did all this come up?  I’ve been trying to block off ideas of “how I should be” with just … how I am, and trying to believe that how I am is good enough and I don’t have to live up to everyone else’s standard of being the perfect lady.  Thanks to my sis and friends, it’s been quite successful.  I guess comments from a close other recently starting making my attempt waver… They weren’t anything horrible, but I guess because of the sensitive nature of the matter, they rubbed me the wrong way and made me feel that I had to be a certain way to be lovable. 

The perfect lady – gentle, loving, sweet, never raises her voice, oozes of understanding, never demanding, etcetcetc. 

Shit.  As if anyone could live up to those traits. (or maybe it’s just me who can’t. haha…) I dunno… just venting my frustration about how people sometimes expect you to just be bundles of joy and if you’re not, then they’ll just … wait til you are to talk to you.


3 thoughts on “

  1. I think people are all different.  Cultures are different.  Times are different.  You have to TRY and understand where people are coming from.  Who knows, some women may want to be that “perfect lady” (whatever the hell that is b.c they don’t exist!).  For you, all i can say is that you are perfect in who you are.  Never change what makes you you for anyone else (unless it’s something you want to change).  If they can’t love you for who you are, then they don’t deserve to.  And plus, there is no perfect lady… the perfect women is the perfect one for you. (not you issey, but u know what i mean :P)


  2. you are perfect sis!! ^__^ well no one is PERFECT but life is a journey to bring ourselves as far to perfection as possible i think… if someone doesn’t accept you as you are then tell them to GO TO HELL =)


  3. hi hi hun…i just wanted to say…don’t let that ever stress you out…cuz you know what you are totally perfect the way you are…you are perfect to me…and that’s what matters the most…=P puahahhahahaha ^^…man i’m honoured to be even put on the same page as you…and what i think is important is just be you…otherwise you are denying your existence and that in itself could be fatal…i say better to be yourself then someone else…cuz you are just so damn coo…=P


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